Life's Messy Decisions

 

So, it is just kind of hitting me that there are going to be 2 boys.  I am going to be the mom to 2 sons.  That is awesome and scary all at the same time.  At the moment I don't really feel ganged up on because lets face it G really loves his mommy.  He is just now getting used to daddy.  Blame nursing, blame my amazing momminess (haha), who knows, but up till recently he has been my kid.  That doesn't mean that he isn't all boy, all the time.  He is more dirty and gross than I prefer, but really he is a sweet cuddly little human being.

Back to the messy decisions of life....

We need to order a few personalized items for the boy's room and finish getting it set  up completely.  We need to buy a few things we wished we had the first time or that somehow broke along the way.  That is the fun stuff. 

Then there is the crappy stuff, the stuff that stresses me out and brings tears....that very first decision you have to make as a mom and a dad to a son...circumcision.  Sorry guys if you are reading this (or even mommas), but seriously I did my research before I had Garrett and for whatever reason I still let Mark talk me into letting G have it done.  So recently I tried the discussion again and of course cried.  Not the messy mascara running type of crying but more the head in my arm, faced down on the bed so he won't see me type of tears.  I'm not a boy I don't understand whether it bothers a boy to either be or not to be, but the process freaks me out and makes me sad and I know it causes pain.  What mom in their right mind consciously causes their brand new baby pain?  I did and it still haunts me.  I actually still feel guilt over that very first decision. 

Mark thinks the boy's need to be the same and that if they do not have everything the same their whole entire life it will cause conflict.  Do I care about conflict.  Not really.  I don't want them to be the same and I don't think it is necessary or realistic to assume that their entire life they are going to want or need the exact same of everything.  Apparently I am not a boy and just don't understand. 

I'm not really sure what to do, but ultimately this was the one and only reason I never wanted to have another son.  This one decision.  I know with kids you make 5 million decisions, some hard, some easy, and that is just before they turn 5 but seriously this one gets to me.  If this kid is anything like G, he will hurt himself enough over the years without me adding to the mix. 

I have seen the debate on many mom groups and right now this family is divided.